hmmmm w...

hmmmm was inspired to write in here today cuz someone else was writing in theirs... well, im happy still.... there are guys out there who care... whether they be friends or boyfriends i know they are there fro me when i need them... even if just to talk to, hug, etc. And there is a particular guy out there, he knows who he is, that has made me feel so happy... a type of happiness i havent felt before... and he understands me so its all cool..... im glad muh buddy bosco is back online, i missed him horribly and he knows that.... my advice person that he is.... we all know the hell my life was without him *L* Well, not much else is going on in my life, im kciken back, bein a hermit but im happy and thats all i really care about... lates**if love was red then she was color blind**

Well,...

Well, surprise surprise i survived hell day *lol* Well im feeling good actually. Im happy. Honestly happy. Its weird. HAvent felt this way in a LONG time. Thanks to all my friends again who put up with me and are giving me self esteem =P love you all!!

HELL DAY!

well, as you all know today is my least favorite day of the year.... seeing everyone happy and shit. fuck them! I have a record now, 18 years straight of being alone on this day.... i decided yesterday that i hate being lonely but fuck it im happy with who i am and im not changing for anyone. And those who disagree or dont like me can stick it up there ass those fucking cocksuckers =) ok all better now.... my mommy bought me a teddy bear today....and my tattoo itches a lot......oh and from my current music "i'd rather tear things down then build them up its easier that way, i hate teachers i hate school i hate the cheeleaders and anyone whos cool"

well, ...

well, those of you who talk to me know im sad.... and why... but i think things will look up for me after tonight. i dont want to get in to it tohugh now. on other news, i think im changing my major from psychology to journalism and minor in psych...... guys are lying evil bastards but "it cant rain all the time"

well i m...

well i may be getting my tattoo soon.... very soon.... my dad agreed to take me and im calling the place tomarrow to find out their hours.... im terrified right now because its actually happening..... hold me.....

poem i wrote at 9:30am this morning

sleep is wanted but not coming/darkness nowhere/except my heart/i close my eyes and lie still/to alive to be dead/to dead to be alive/call me insane, depressed or even happy/you'll never know whats inside/lieing here in the dark/part of nointhg/but a part of it all/there is no point in trying/just let me be